Being broken hearted occurs when finding romance or getting over a bad breakup. I want to shatter that long held myth. People have had their hearts broken when not looking for romance. I have had my heart broken when being bullied for wearing glasses, braces, and being on the honor roll in junior high school. I have had my heart broken in high school by feeling less than my male classmates. I felt ugly, boring, and unworthy of the attention and blessings which were coming my way. In college I’ve had my heart broken when friends who I was there for weren’t there for me. I’ve had my heart broken after college when looking at Facebook albums of fellow Tech alums living the dream life and possessing all that I wanted. I remember when I worked at Chase, I sat at my cubicle during my fifteen minute break, and God was saying, “Chris, you need to give me your broken heart. It has nothing to do with me with romance, but being wounded by others.” I remember I read a familiar passage from the book of Psalms. The Father told me to chapter 51 and 147. In the former, I remember it saying that God us to surrender our broken heart. In chapter 147:3, it says that God can heal a broken heart. He can heal it if we give it to Him.
Holding on to a broken heart cultivates certain fruit within us. This fruit is dangerous and includes bitterness, jealousy, envy, and hate. We are bitter over our past and it not working out the way we expected. We become jealous when we see those we love be blessed by God in multiple areas of their lives. We become envious by thinking the grass is greener on the other side by not being grateful for what we have. We become hateful and want to see others fail because we are so miserable in our lives. All of the above is dangerous and towards the end of 2009 I learn that go. It wasn’t easy, but I had to give it up.
I recall several instances of being in a position where dangerous fruit was starting to grow in my spirit. I remember seeing Facebook photos of myself with my mentor, his wife, and two sons who I call my “little brothers”. I began to feel sorry for myself because my parents divorced at an early age, I never saw a template for a loving Christian marriage, and wanted that in my life. I became jealous and hateful. I began sending hateful messages to my mentor just to spite him. My mentor rebuked me for placing him and his life on a pedestal. I recalled an e-mail he sent me in August 2008 saying, ‘My life isn’t perfect, but I serve a perfect God.’ I allowed Satan an open door and not ask God for peace in my life. I couldn’t believe I began to fall back into old ways of thinking.
I started to pray and asked God why does my life seem hard? I read Psalms 16:11, Matthew 11:30, Colossians 3:8, Hebrews 12: 1, and 1 Peter 2:1. After the above mentioned verses, I was slowly delivered. I stopped thinking that my mentor’s life and the lives of people I went to college were perfect. I know that there were times where their lives seemed barren and hopeless, but they overcame. I overcame obstacles that I thought were insurmountable during college. Towards the end of 2009, I asked to take all of my broken heart. I asked Him for peace over opportunities that I thought I would work out during and after college. I asked Him for a better than I one I have, yet still be grateful for the present. Giving all of your broken to the Father’s hands is the key. We can turn to our Advocate, Jesus Christ, who understands all that we go through (1 Corinthians 10).
